I want to tighten up spending and pay down our debt, but my husband doesn’t. How do we make a plan together?

Dear Grace,

I have a financial question. I want to save money. My goal is to slow our spending for 2026, pay off our credit card debt, and build up our savings. I am ready to say “no” to family outings, shopping for needless things, and “no” to things that cost money.

My husband isn’t really on the same page. He says he is willing to save money, but he doesn’t think the credit card debt is a problem, and he’s not willing to give up his hobbies. He spends money on gear for camping and things he enjoys.

I don’t know how we can get on the same page with our finances. We both work, but he makes more money than me. Is he right that the credit card debt isn’t a problem? How do we save money if he doesn’t cut back?

– Ready to Live Like I’m Broke, Colorado

Dear Ready,

Oh friend, you are not alone…nearly half of American households have credit card debt. Credit card companies are predatory and want you to be in debt, so you’re not the only one who has fallen into their trap.

Good for you for having such a clear vision! Big changes don’t happen overnight; they happen after a series of small, intentional steps. You’ve already taken the hard ones: naming the problem, deciding to prioritize savings, and thinking seriously about where to cut back. That’s huge. Now let’s talk about getting your husband to catch up to where you already are.

You know what you’re talking about.

You’ve been doing the mental work around finances, so you’re seeing things your husband might not notice. You’re the one paying for groceries, tracking what things actually cost, and watching where the money goes. That’s not just busy work—that’s real financial knowledge. Your husband may make more money, but you’re managing it, which means you see what he doesn’t. Men love to act like they’ve got it all figured out, but honey, you’re living in the actual economy every day. 

Tell your husband that you want to feel financially secure and you need his help (men love that!). Then sit down together and show him the math. How much money is your family losing to credit card interest every month? What happens when the car breaks down, or someone needs a root canal, and you’ve got nothing saved? His camping gear starts to look a lot less essential when one emergency wipes you out. Have a calm conversation with him where you lay it all out so he can get on the same page with you about the problem.

Once you’re on the same page about the problem, make goals together.

Your instincts are spot-on. Credit card interest is like throwing money in the trash every single month, and the longer you carry that balance, the more you end up paying to the credit card company instead of on things you actually need. But here’s my big tip: having no emergency fund could be an even bigger problem. Without savings, the next surprise expense sends you right back into debt—or deeper into it. Good news? You can attack both if you work as a team.

• For savings: Prioritize saving first. The key is consistency. Commit to stashing a little bit each month or week into savings—$25, $50, whatever you can swing. Pay minimums on your debt while you start saving.
• For debt: Once you have an emergency fund started, focus on paying more than just the minimums on your debt. There are two strategies—the avalanche method (which prioritizes your highest interest rate debt) and the snowball strategy (which starts with your smallest debt and moves to bigger debts). You can learn more about both here and discuss with your husband which method is right for you. 

Cut back on spending as a team.

Saving money has to be a team effort—both of you need to adjust your spending, not just you. His hobbies clearly matter to him, so rather than cutting those out entirely, work together to find other areas where you can both compromise. A shared plan you’re each happy with will make it much easier to stick to in the long run. For inspiration, check out these money-saving meal-planning tips from fellow readers and expert-vetted resources for budgeting.

Keep a little money just for you.

One more thing that I hear from readers all the time: always have a bit of money that’s just yours. Not because your marriage is doomed, but because it’s just common sense. Whether it’s $50 or $500, having your own small stash tucked away is a smart move for every woman. Readers often tell me this is a tip they wish they’d put into practice sooner. Open a savings account in your name and keep a little emergency fund for yourself. Completely normal, completely smart. For more advice on getting some financial independence in your relationship, read advice from me and your fellow readers. 

You’re asking all the right questions, Ready. You know what you’re talking about. Now it’s time to help your husband see what you already understand. You two can absolutely figure this out together—but that starts with him respecting the expertise you’ve built running your household and taking your concerns as seriously as you do.

In admiration,

Grace