I’m a widow and afraid I’ll be alone forever. Is it wrong to want to find love again?

Dear Grace,

My fiancé passed away recently. I’m still grieving him, but I’m scared of being alone. I want to share my life with somebody, but I’m scared of moving on. Did I miss my chance to find love? Is it wrong to try again?

– Afraid of Ending Up Alone, Kentucky

Dear Afraid,

I’m so sorry for your loss. To cut to the chase—no, you didn’t miss your chance to find love, and no, it isn’t wrong to try again. But you deserve time and space to heal from losing your fiancé. Losing someone we love changes us. Let’s talk about how to cope with loss and how to know when you’re ready to get back out there.

Take it one day at a time.

Grief takes time, and it cannot be rushed. You may never completely “move on” from loving and missing your late fiancé, but you will eventually find a new normal. This reader asked when it was time to stop grieving her late mother, and the truth is, grief is different for everyone. The only thing that can heal a broken heart is time, but here are a few other things that may help along the way:

• Talk about it. With friends, colleagues, or even a mental health counselor.
• Take care of your body. Eat healthy foods, get plenty of sleep, and exercise.
• Celebrate the person you lost. Honor the person you are mourning by celebrating and remembering them, or spending time with their loved ones.

Life is worth living even when you don’t have a partner.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to fall in love and share your life with someone, but you need to be able to stand on your own two feet in order to find a relationship that will fill your cup. You are just as whole and worthy of happiness, whether you are single or married. I hear that you’re afraid to be alone, but if you met the next great love of your life right now, while in the middle of grief, you might not be ready for them. Lean on your friends and family while you mourn your fiancé. Focus on your friendships and family members while you heal.

Jump in when you’re ready.

As horrible as it is to lose someone we love, I think everyone in this community would tell you that true love is worth whatever pain we may experience from it. Grief is evidence of loving deeply, and while it may not seem like it now, that is a blessing. Your fiancé was an important chapter in your life’s love story, but not necessarily the end of it! Not everyone needs a partner to have a happy life, but if you find you still want one on the other side of your grief journey, taking your time to heal will get you ready to receive that love with open arms. I hear a lot from widows asking about dating, so when you’re ready to get back out there, remember that you won’t be alone. Here are tips from readers for how to approach dating as a widow.

You deserve to live a full, happy life, Afraid, but don’t rush into a new relationship out of fear. Your heart has just been broken by this loss. Protect it and give it space to heal before you get back out there. Your next happily ever after is out there!

Love, 

Grace