I’m saving up to buy a home for my kids, but I’m falling behind. How do I catch up?

Hi Grace,

I want to save money to buy a small house for myself and my girls, but I feel like I’m failing due to my work situation. Things are starting to slow down, and I’m struggling with bills. Do you have any ideas to help me get back on my feet?

– Concerned For My Family’s Future, Covington

Dear Concerned,

First of all, you are not failing. You are showing up for your girls every single day, and that already makes you a good mom. I know how heavy it feels when the math doesn’t add up and you’re doing everything you can just to keep the lights on and the fridge stocked. Wanting a home that offers stability and a chance to build wealth for your family is a beautiful goal and one that should feel within your reach. You care deeply about your daughters’ future, and no matter where you are in your home-buying journey, that’s something to be proud of.

Let’s talk about how you can start saving for you and your girls’ future:

You’re not behind—you’re living in a tough economy.

Trying to buy a home right now is hard for almost everyone. You’re not alone, and you’re not doing anything wrong. Home prices have shot up in the last few years, and wages haven’t kept up…so many women in our community are living paycheck to paycheck or even struggling to keep a roof over their heads. Rent is high, gas is high, groceries are high—it’s all a lot. Years ago, people could afford homes on one income, but that’s not the world we live in anymore. The fact that it is so hard to afford a home right now is not your fault. It’s okay to take a breath and adjust your goals based on what’s real today, not what you wish things were. If you need to pause your home-buying goal to focus on paying your bills and taking care of your girls, that is completely reasonable.

Focus on building a strong financial foundation first.

Before you worry about buying a house, make sure your basic money safety net is in place. As a responsible mom, I’m sure you’re already thinking about how you can protect your girls and prepare for their future. Focus on paying your bills, paying down any credit cards or loans you may have, and building a solid savings account first. Set some money aside for an emergency fund. It should be enough to cover 1–3 months of expenses. This is in case you lose your job or an unexpected expense comes up. This is your FIRST big financial goal. Once you have an emergency fund, put a little bit of money into a high-yield savings account for your future every month. If you start early with just a little bit, it will grow even more than if you started later with a lot. This money could go towards a home one day or towards your girls’ education. These steps may not be as exciting as house hunting, but they’re part of building the strong foundation your family deserves. When the time does come to buy, you’ll be ready.

Do a little research to see if homeownership in your area is better than renting.

Buying a home is such an exciting step, but in order to know if it’s the right goal for you, you’ll need to learn more about your area. In some cities or towns, buying a home is a smart investment because you build equity and your monthly mortgage payment is much lower than rent would be. In other areas, buying instead of renting means settling for much less space with a much higher price tag. Find out more about your local housing market by researching these questions:

• What do homes in your area cost? Not just the price tag right when you buy, but annual property taxes, home insurance, monthly mortgage payments, and repairs. (You can use this calculator to figure out the mortgage!)
• Are there any first-time homebuyer programs in your county? Some states and banks offer grants, lower interest rates, or help with down payments. A good place to start is your local credit union or community bank. Ask what help is out there—you might be surprised.
• What home cost could you afford (or work towards affording)? Buying a house shouldn’t completely empty your bank account, so make sure you know exactly how much you would need to save, and then add a cushion. This calculator is helpful! Once you set a savings goal for your down payment, you can decide how much money to put away each month and get a sense of when you’d be ready to purchase.

If all of these numbers are making your head spin, don’t worry, you’re not alone. Interest rates are high right now, so it might make sense to wait until you have a bigger savings account and interest rates go back down. If none of the numbers you found in your research scared you, it’s time to check out what’s on the market!

You’ve got your eyes on the future, and that’s something to celebrate. But don’t forget to notice what you’ve already done: you’ve kept your family together, you’re working hard, and you’re planning ahead. That is success. It’s okay if it doesn’t look exactly how you imagined it!

With love and encouragement,

Grace