Our family farm is suffering. How do I support my husband and our workers when I’m so scared myself?

Dear Grace,

My husband and I have a dairy farm. My family has been farmers going back generations, and I’m proud of that. We have always treated our farm workers well, and we get to know their kids and families. Some are from towns around here, and some are immigrants. We rely on the H-2A visa program (don’t get me started on that big, expensive headache), and we’ve been able to squeak by every year.

Recently, my county had a raid from ICE at a bunch of farms. Folks we know were carted off…even people with papers. The farms that got hit are scrambling without workers. My husband has been stressed and can’t sleep. We’re both scared that our workers will be separated from their kids. We’re worried that we’ll end up sh*ts creek without a paddle like those other farms.

I’m worried that all of this mess will really hurt our business, or even shut us down. 

What can I do to support my husband and the good guys who work with us?

– Sleepless, Stressed Out, and Scared in PA

Dear Sleepless,

First, take a breath. What you’re carrying is heavy, and anyone in your shoes would feel shaken. You care deeply about your family’s land, your workers, your husband, and the community you all have built together. That alone says a lot about the kind of woman you are. When the world feels like it’s spinning out of control, kindness can feel like the only steady ground—and you’ve already got that part down. You’re not overreacting; this is real fear, and it’s rooted in real love for your people.

Let your husband lean on you.

Right now, one of the most important things you can do is steady the ground at home. Stress can take a toll on a marriage, or it can bring you closer. Let’s make sure this stressful season makes your marriage stronger. Sit down together and name the worries out loud so neither of you carries them alone. Make a plan for what you can control—staffing, finances, backup plans—and agree to take breaks from doom-scrolling and rumor mills. Stress feels lighter when it’s shared, and leaning on each other will help both of you feel a little more grounded.

Be the mama bear to your employees and their families.

Across the country, we’re seeing reports of workers being rounded up by ICE, and knowing that your community is a target is beyond scary. My heart goes out to you and to all of the people worrying that the lives they’ve built for their families are in danger. It’s time to go into mama bear mode for your employees and their families. There is a lot of chaos and confusion, so a confident voice saying, “I’m here for you, we will get through this,” will go a long way. Your workers are likely terrified, even if they’re trying to keep a brave face. Let them know you care about their families and will do what you can to help them stay safe. Share any local resources you know about, like churches that track legal aid organizations, immigrant support groups, or farmworker hotlines. Keep communication clear and honest—people feel safer when they know what’s happening, even if you don’t have all the answers.

Get your finances in order, find resources, and protect your farm’s future.

This is the moment to gather every resource you can for your farm. I’ll admit, farm budgets and finance are far from my area of expertise, but I quickly googled “resources for family farms,” and there was quite a bit out there! Based on my research, it looks like you should start by talking to your state’s farm bureau or calling the Farm Aid hotline to learn about support for labor shortages. There are others in your position, and there are folks out there who want to help. All you have to do is find them. Researching what resources are available and taking a realistic look at your farm’s finances will hopefully give you and your husband steadier ground to stand on as you make any decisions.

I wish I could tell you there was a simple fix, but this is a big mess—one family can’t solve it alone. What you can do is show up with the kind of steady compassion your community already knows you for. Hard times call for brave, caring people who look out for their neighbors and workers, even when they’re scared themselves. It may not fix everything, but it does make the load lighter. I believe in you, your family, and your farm. 

With love,

Grace