Procrastination has made my life chaos, but I can’t seem to stop. How do I break the cycle?

Dear Grace,

I can’t stop procrastinating and it’s BAD. I end up missing appointments, sometimes parties, I even skip meals sometimes all because I procrastinate. I don’t do it on purpose, but I don’t know how to stop. Any advice?

– Procrastinator in Pinedale

Dear Procrastinator,

There have been many times in my own life that I’ve put things off only to end up missing them entirely. That can stir up many feelings: disappointment, frustration, and a lot of guilt. Sometimes it’s a genuine oversight, other times we may be avoiding something we’re worried about, dreading, or afraid of trying. 

No matter what the reason, here are a few simple things you can do to address the cause and set yourself up for success moving forward. 

Talk to your doctor. While procrastination is something almost everyone deals with on some level, missing appointments and forgetting to eat could point to a medical or mental health  issue that could be addressed with the help of a doctor. If your procrastination is linked to an underlying issue, a diagnosis and treatment plan will be far more effective than trying to “tough it out” through willpower—or worse, beating yourself up.  So, here’s your gentle reminder to talk to your doctor when something feels off. Make sure you feel heard, and your concerns are taken seriously. 

Make a daily schedule. A To-Do list has saved my life more times than I can count. It keeps my day on track and it also gives me a sense of accomplishment when I complete a task – and we procrastinators can use the positive reinforcement. Take some time to consider what you need to get done every day, from the basics like making and eating meals to showering, dressing, and whatever else you want and need to do, and set aside realistic time for each thing. A few tips: 

• Do honor your schedule to keep yourself on track, but don’t overbook yourself with tasks. In order for this to work, you want it to be realistic for YOU. Start by scheduling more time for each activity than you’ll think you need. 
• Don’t forget to take healthy sleep habits into consideration, like wind-down time before bed.  
• Add some time in your day to go over the next day’s schedule, so you can include appointments and social events as they come up. 
• As you go through your day, check your schedule frequently and make notes about what you finish and what you don’t. Take a moment to appreciate yourself for this new habit, even when you adjust something. You’re building skills. 

Get a buddy. I love scheduling errands with a friend! It can make them seem like less of a chore, while giving us a great opportunity to catch up. Plus, it gives me a sense of accountability: It’s much harder to put something off when I’ve made a date with someone else. You can buddy up for nearly anything: Trips to the grocery store, cooking and meal prep, even doing your taxes. It also gives you a chance to let someone else do the planning, and see how their habits might work for you. It doesn’t all need to be in person.  You can use texts to create a support system with check ins to share the day’s progress. Two of my friends have become exercise buddies, and they send each other a star every day they get to the gym. It’s a simple way to support each other, and give ourselves the validation we deserve. 

Remember that what works for someone else might not work for you, so try not to get discouraged. Finding what doesn’t work is valuable information to have in your search for the habits that do. I’m confident you can move forward and get yourself out of this cycle of putting things off and missing out, and instead enjoy your time. Your procrastinating days are numbered!

With love and understanding, 

Grace