I got demoted and I think it was because of my age.

Dear Grace,

Recently, I got demoted at work to a lower paying job and I’m pretty sure it was because of my age. When I started out in my previous position, none of the 20-somethings I work with bothered to train me because I didn’t fit with their clique (I’m over 45). After 2 weeks, I had no training and there were important documents not filed correctly, so I got “moved” into my current position. My boss told me that after a 2 week trial she would reevaluate to see which job I was more comfortable with, but that never happened. Instead, her close personal friend is now doing the job I was hired for! I just want my old job (and salary) back! How do I go about talking to a boss that is part of the plan that demoted me?

– Aged-Out in Ankeny

Dear Aged-Out

I sympathize with your frustration–starting a new job is stressful enough without playing musical chairs with your coworkers. It sounds like your situation should never have happened in the first place. The Age Discrimination in Employment Act was put into law to keep Americans like yourself (employees over 40) from being harmed by preferential treatment, age-related layoffs or demotions at work. Still, in a recent poll, 78% of employees over 50 say they’ve seen or experienced it for themselves. 

Let’s see what we can do to get you out of that statistic. 

Build your case. Before you can take action to get your job back, take a moment to put together a clear case for why you belong in your original role and how things got off track. Start by looking at your original job description and matching your skills to the responsibilities you were hired for. Make note of any skill mismatch with your new job, it can help you make the case to the boss that you’re an untapped resource. In your own words, write down your side of the story–how things went off track during your training. Gather any official emails or communication that helps you tell that story, you’ll be glad you have it on hand when you talk to the people in charge. 

Talk to the boss. Take your boss up on her offer to revisit your position. If you feel that she won’t be fair or objective, or if she doesn’t respond appropriately to your request, try going through the Human Resources department. No matter who you talk to, come with your notes in hand and a level head to share your perspective. 

Here’s how I would approach the conversation, Aged-Out:

1. Share your concern. You feel unfairly demoted from your original position and want to find a solution. 
2. Listen to her side. Give your boss a chance to share why she moved you and what, if anything, she thinks you could do differently. This can be a tough pill to swallow, but try to listen for opportunities to grow. 
3. Ask for your job back. Being direct gives you a better chance of getting what you want. 

Give it (some) time. Regardless of how strong your case is, workplace issues like this one aren’t usually resolved overnight. Getting back into your original job and finding your rhythm is going to take time. Before you head into your conversation with your manager, decide how much time you’re willing to give this process before you need to bow out and pursue different opportunities. There’s no single “right” amount of time, Aged-Out, so take time to consider the situation (and the job market) carefully and come up with something that feels acceptable to you. At the end of the day, you can only control the way that you show up, the actions of your manager and coworkers are up to them.

Whether your boss can see it or not, you are valuable and capable. I believe in you, Aged-Out. 

<3 Grace