I’m a long-distance Grandma. How can I stay connected with my grands?
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Dear Grace,
What is the best way(s) to be a long-distance grandma? How do I stay connected with my super busy grands? They are 21, 19, 11, and 3 months old.
– Wondering in Wyoming
Dear Wondering,
I was so delighted to get your question! Grandparents play such a special role in our lives—whether they live next door or across the country—and I’m sure your grandkids are excited for any chance to connect with you. I hear from plenty of grandparents in your situation and really admire how much thought you put into your relationship with each of your grands. I have some suggestions that I hope will help you stay connected.
Get creative with your check-ins.
However you check in with your grands—text, phone or FaceTime—go deeper than asking, “How’s school?” Maybe there’s a TV show you both like to watch that you can talk about, or if you’re both readers you could ask for their book recommendations. I know a grandma who gave her grands a subscription to The Week Junior magazine and reads it herself from the library each week, so they can talk about it. Maybe you follow the same sports teams? Or you can play online games like Words with Friends or even join a fantasy sports league together. Learning about the kinds of things they’re into—games, music, activities, you name it—is a great way to grow with them and make sure you always have something fun to talk about.
Lastly, don’t be afraid to tell them about your life. A text with a picture of your dog doing something funny or your weekend plans may be all you need to get a chat going.
Plan a grand trip.
Visits to see the whole family can be wonderful, but it can be hard to get quality one-on-one time. Consider taking a trip each year with just one or two of the kids. Whether it’s a weekend away, a road trip, or a full-fledged vacation, time together will get you all out of your routines—and give your grandchildren beautiful memories for a lifetime. Invite the older kids into the planning as a way to open up opportunities for deeper connection and getting to know each other better.
Send snail mail.
Trips are great, but as a long-distance grandma, the time in between is even more crucial. I find that writing letters and sending care packages with favorite snacks or other small surprises helps me stay connected and foster a special bond with the kids I love in my life. Grandkids of all ages can appreciate getting mail. I remember how special I felt as a kid getting something that was addressed just to me! The older children can appreciate that you took the time to think of them and something they would appreciate—whether it’s a favorite cookie, a craft, or a magazine on their latest obsession. No matter what you send, getting in the habit of exchanging snail mail is sure to make the walk to the mailbox more exciting for everyone.
The good news is that there have never been more ways to stay in touch, whether it’s in person, online, or old school! It’s clear you have the love and willingness to make it happen no matter the distance. Your grands are lucky to have you as a grandma, Wondering!
With love and connection,
Grace
