I’m almost 40 and living paycheck to paycheck. What can I do to get ahead?

Dear Grace,

Sometimes my husband and I can’t even live a simple lifestyle without experiencing financial stress. I feel like I should be sure of what I want to do and be making long-term career goals, but I’m too busy trying to make ends meet to plan ahead. Is it wrong to be in your late 30s just living from paycheck to paycheck?

– Behind The Curve in Binghamton

Dear Behind The Curve,

You are not alone in feeling like you can’t make long-term plans because you’re trying to handle short-term problems. Nearly half of all Americans are living paycheck to paycheck. Please don’t feel you’re behind the curve; you’re in the middle with the rest of us, and you’re in good company. 

Still, I hear your concern for you and your husband’s financial future, and that’s real. I have some suggestions so that you can stop feeling so reactive about money, and instead make time to be—and feel—proactive. 

Cut Yourself Some Slack

The truth is, when our country experiences major economic stress, it impacts all of us. Throughout our lives businesses evolve, demands change, and the economy ebbs and flows. The same goes for buying a house, getting married, and deciding when and if to have kids. Young adults in Gen Z are living with their parents longer because they graduated during a chaotic job market. Millennials are buying homes later due to the Great Recession in 2008 and high levels of student loan debt. Gen X is struggling to save because, as the “sandwich generation,” so many support both their children and their aging parents. And Boomers aren’t sure they have enough money to retire due to the switch from pensions to 401ks during their prime earning years. 

Even if you aren’t exactly where you thought you’d be by now, you’re not alone. As an almost 40-year-old, you’ve lived and worked through a pandemic, multiple wars, a recession, and SO many other events that impact the job market, how much things cost, and how easy it is to save. I hope you can be proud of yourself for making it this far and not blame yourself for how much farther you have yet to go.

Get creative about your goals. 

I understand feeling drained or frustrated when it feels like all of your energy is going into just surviving. It can make you feel like you’re on a treadmill, rather than a real journey. So try this: take a moment to think about that journey. What kind of life do you want to be living? Check out this column on how to figure out what your dreams really are. In addition to making more money, do you want to pursue a different career? What kind of hours and schedule would you like? What kind of work culture? How do you want to spend your spare time? Is there something new you want to learn? Getting a clearer picture of where you want to be can help you plan some long-term goals and the baby steps you’ll take to achieve them. 

To start working towards those goals, you could check out career development resources at your local library, like a resume class, career coaching, or even pursuing a certificate. Thinking of pivoting into a totally new field? Read my advice for another reader who is making that leap.

In the meantime, you could also focus on some smaller short-term changes, like joining a book club (it’s important to feed your joy, even as you put the pedal to the metal) or picking up some gig work like driving DoorDash to make some extra cash in your time off. 

Do a financial tune-up. 

Budgets aren’t something to set-and-forget. The economy is constantly changing based on governmental policies, climate change, and the choices we all make as consumers. Take the time to re-assess your financial status quo by:

• Give your budget a trim. You may find expenses have crept up that you can lower by canceling subscriptions, changing credit card interest rates, or negotiating a better deal on your phone service (you can do all three of these through services like RocketMoney). 
• Take a look at your debt. Credit cards can really kill your ability to save if you leave a balance on them month-month, so start by buckling down on your credit card payments—if you have multiple cards, pay off the one with the highest interest rate first. 
• Don’t leave money on the table. We all pay into programs designed to help families out when money is tight. Check whether or not you qualify, and apply for government resources. 
• Advocate for yourself. When was the last time you talked to your boss about a raise or a promotion? Take the time to build a case for why you (or your partner) is valuable at work and deserves a pay bump and share it with the boss. You may find that some of the financial ease you’re looking for is just around the corner. If your negotiation skills are rusty, here is some good advice to get you up to speed. 

When it comes to finances, there are no quick fixes—anyone who tells you differently is selling something. But with some planning and leg work from both of you, I really believe that you can get out of the stress zone and into a routine that feels sustainable and, well, good. In the meantime, remember that your path is your own and that where you are today does not determine where you’ll be tomorrow. 

With love and encouragement, 

Grace