My son is getting married but money is tight—what’s an acceptable wedding gift?

Dear Grace,

My son is getting married soon and I have to get a gift but I have no income. I am a crafter and would like to know if it would be okay to make them something. If so—should I give this handmade gift at the wedding shower, the wedding itself, or before?

– Looking For Answers, Lake Charles

Dear Looking For Answers,

Wedding season is in full swing and I can promise you that you’re not the only one with this question. Watching your son get married is such a big milestone and while your love and support are the best gifts you can give him, I totally understand wanting to give him and his bride-to-be something special to mark the occasion. 

A few weeks ago, our community of readers voted to share what they think is the “right” amount to spend on a wedding gift. The responses I saw were all over the board–ranging from $50 to well over $100, which tells me that there is no “right way” to think of wedding gifts. Most of our readers are comfortable spending between $50-100 on a wedding gift, but I’m sure they would agree that something thoughtfully homemade is just as good (or better) than a gift off of your son’s registry. 

Here’s my advice for how to make your gift really pop!

Make it personal. As a self-proclaimed crafter, I’m sure you’re already very thoughtful about the details of the things you make. My advice is to put some extra thought into how this gift could be even more meaningful for your son and his fiance as a couple. If you’re a birdhouse-maker, for instance, maybe you can include designs that feature your future-DIL’s favorite flowers, or the state bird from her home state alongside the state bird from your son’s home state. Showing them that you truly designed this for them will make it extra special. 

Add a note. Some of the most memorable gifts from my own wedding celebrations were the pieces of advice and well-wishes that my loved ones wrote in their cards and in our guest book. Take some time to think through what you want to tell your son and his fiance as they start this new chapter—there’s nothing quite like reminding someone how much you love them and sharing some of your own wisdom to help them start off strong. 

Don’t stress about the timing. I’m not a stickler for etiquette and have always said that there’s no bad time to receive a gift! If they are planning to move into a new place together, you might want to wait until they’re settled to avoid adding things to their packing list (we’d hate for your creation to get lost in a move!). Otherwise, I think the gift and the thought behind it are much more important than the timing. 

Thanks so much for sharing your question, we’d love to see what you end up making for your son–drop me a line to share a photo and tell us how it went! 

Sending my best wishes to you and the happy couple!

Grace