Should we all tip our waiters more during the holidays?

Dear Grace,

I feel bad seeing waitresses and bartenders and everyone working on Christmas when so many get the day off. Should everyone tip more during the holidays?

– Looking Out For Others in Lexington, TN

Dear Looking Out,

I love that you are thinking of the folks who have to work during the holidays. For some, it’s tough to miss quality time with family or important cultural celebrations. In America, many waiters, bartenders, bussers, and service industry folks rely on tips to pay their bills and keep food on the table for their families. In other countries, service industry folks make enough money in their hourly pay that tips are a nice-to-have, not a need-to-have.

Budgets are tight for a lot of us, especially with the holidays around the corner, and going out to eat doesn’t feel as doable as it used to. But when you do get out for a coffee or date night, there are some suggestions for how to have good tipping manners, especially during the holidays:

The holidays are stressful, so give everyone grace.

This time of year is expensive and busy for so many industries. Retail stores bulk up their staff with seasonal hires to handle the big crowds of shoppers, and restaurant workers have more tables to get to as families gather and celebrate. On top of how busy work can get, we all carry our own burdens this time of year: some folks are stressed about how to budget for holiday gifts, others feel lonely seeing so many families together, and some are grieving lost loved ones more than usual. While the American tradition is generally to tip 15% for pleasant service and 20% for excellent service, consider that service workers may be under more stress than usual, and give them grace. Compliment your waiter, be patient if your order is slow, and try to be a bright spot in their hard day.

If you can afford to be generous during the holidays, you should.

I was always taught that this time of year is the “season of giving,” and I take that seriously. Many Americans across the country give extra tips during the holidays, especially at places where they are regulars. Giving a little extra shows the warm diner waitress that you see every Sunday, or the bartender who has memorized your drink order, or the frazzled busser who is trying to keep up during the busy season that you see them and appreciate them. Even if it’s only a few extra dollars, you might just make someone’s day.

The minimum wage for tipped workers is lower.

I think we can all agree that the federal minimum wage of $7.25 is too low. It’s not right that so many folks working full-time minimum wage jobs struggle to make rent and buy groceries. But did you know that the minimum wage for tipped workers like servers and bartenders is even lower? My sister recently reminded me that the federal minimum wage for tipped workers is only $2.90 per hour, and I was shocked. If those workers don’t make good tips, their paycheck is much lower and harder to stretch. When I’m out to eat with my family and a server makes a mistake, I definitely get frustrated. But then I remember how much is on the line for them, and I give them a little extra, well, grace. I know this community is full of good and kind people who can overlook one grumpy server, especially during the holidays. After all, every person we meet is fighting battles we know nothing about.

Sometimes it’s hard to know how to have good manners in our vastly changing world. So thank you for your question, Looking Out. If you can afford to tip a little more than the traditional 15-20% this holiday season, I hope you do. Celebrating the season of giving by leaving a little extra is sure to put a smile on your servers’ faces—and on yours.

With love,

Grace