This guy I’m seeing keeps ghosting me. Should I keep trying or move on?
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Dear Grace,
I really like this guy…we went on a couple of dates, but then he ghosted me. After a week of not responding to my messages or calls, out of the blue, he texted me again last week. Now he’s back to ghosting again! I can’t stop thinking about him. What do I do? Keep trying or move on?
– Lovesick in Louisiana
Dear Lovesick in Louisiana,
Oh, friend—I know that feeling. The spark of a new connection, the excitement of hearing from someone you like, and then… silence. Again. It’s confusing, disorienting, and more than a little frustrating. It makes sense that you’re stuck thinking about him, not because he’s your person, but because your heart is trying to make sense of something that doesn’t make sense.
Tell him what you want.
Let’s start here: you’re allowed to ask for what you want. In fact, you should. Whether it’s consistency, clear communication, or just someone who doesn’t vanish for a week at a time, your needs in a relationship matter. If this man texts you again, you can tell him: “I’m looking for someone who shows up and communicates, not someone who disappears.” Simple as that. If he can’t meet you there, he’s showing you who he is—and you get to decide if that works for you.
Know what you deserve.
As women, we’re often taught to center other people’s feelings above our own. You might be bending over backward trying to figure out what he wants, what he meant, or what you should say to make him like you. But it’s not your job to convince someone of your worth. It’s their job to recognize it—and if they don’t, they’re not the right one. Your time and energy are precious. Save them for someone who’s as excited to know you as you are to know them.
Fill your own cup.
Now is the perfect moment to turn your focus back to you. What brings you joy? What fills your cup? What are your dreams? The more full your life is—with friends, passions, purpose—the more magnetic you become. When you’re centered in your own happiness, the right people will be drawn to you. Not because you chased them, but because your light is unmistakable.
I know it hurts to let go of something that has potential. But I promise you, the kind of love you’re dreaming of won’t ghost you. It will stay. It will show up. And it will feel easy.
Love,
Grace
