My maternity leave is almost up. How can I prepare to go back to work?

Dear Grace,

I am a mother of 2 kids now and currently on maternity leave without pay but I’m a but nervous about going back to my job in a kitchen that doesn’t pay all that much while trying to pay off a car and find a place for my kids and I. What advice would you give me to help me get through all of this?

– Worried in Wichita

Dear Worried,

Congrats on your new baby! I’m sure you’re excited about welcoming the newest member of your family, but my heart still goes out to you for how much you’re juggling when you should be able to focus on healing and caring for your newborn. The United States is one of only a few countries left around the world with no paid family leave policy to support parents and caregivers, and millions of parents like you are feeling the squeeze. 

Between two kids, getting ready to go back to work, a car payment, and a potential move on the horizon, you’ve got a lot going on. Here’s some advice to hopefully give you some room to breathe:

Talk to your boss. Working in a kitchen can be hard. Between being in a fast-paced work environment and spending hours on your feet, you might find that you need to take more breaks than usual, especially to pump. Talk to your boss about how you can transition back to work without putting your wellbeing on the line. Just like your body needs time to heal and adjust to postpartum life, you shouldn’t be expected to immediately snap back into work mode—it’s a journey. If you have coworkers who are fellow mamas, they also might be able to help pick up any slack, cover you while you take breaks, and just remind you that you’re doing great. They’ve been in your shoes before and are sure to get it.  

Don’t leave money on the table. I hear from parents all the time who feel like they’re running on a hamster wheel–giving it their all, but still not able to get ahead. Until we get real solutions like a national paid family leave policy to keep you afloat while you bond with your little one, my advice is to take advantage of the other programs that you qualify for. Programs like SNAP (formerly known as Food Stamps) and TANF exist to help families through financial rough patches. Our taxes fund these programs so that we can access them when we need to, so get started by checking your eligibility and filling out the paperwork online before you have to go back to work and juggle an even-more-full schedule. 

Talk to a credit counselor. While I don’t know much about your car payment, I do know how much debt can weigh on you and your budget. Watch out for “debt relief” or “debt consolidation” companies that promise to slash or eliminate your debt—there are lots of scams out there that could end up taking you for a ride. Instead, get in touch with a certified credit counselor. This is a financial planner who can help you plan a budget, manage your debt, and get more confident making decisions about money. Counseling sessions are free and a good way to get a sense of what options you might have at your disposal. 

Look into childcare options. One of the biggest costs working families deal with across the country is childcare. If you’re already set with a childcare plan from your first child, then congrats, you can skip this step! Otherwise, take a look at HeadStart and other affordable programs like YMCA childcare (you can usually apply for financial assistance!) or even in-home childcare. You might also want to reach out to parent groups in your area to see how other parents are managing child care—sometimes local organizations offer discount services or support to moms in your position, and it never hurts to ask!

Worried, I can’t let you go without a reminder that the best thing you can do for yourself is to stay connected with the people who love and support you. Motherhood, especially in the early years, is such an all-consuming experience that it’s easy to feel isolated and lose yourself a little in the shuffle (lots of us have been there). It doesn’t matter if there’s spit up on your shirt, laundry piled on the floor, or dishes in the sink, prioritize your own well being each week long enough to call a friend, have a family member over for breakfast with the kids, or go for a walk. Sending you all my love and well wishes for a smooth return to work and plenty of rest in the meantime!

With love, 

Grace