BONUS! Are these feelings baby blues or something more?

Dear Grace,

I just had a baby and I’m really struggling. I thought I was going to finally feel like myself again after a really hard pregnancy but I feel even worse. Why does having a baby cause depression?

– Struggling in South Carolina

Hello again Struggling,

Last month, I answered your letter about the mental health challenges you’ve been experiencing since having your baby. Postpartum depression impacts 1 in 7 women after giving birth. For something so common, we certainly don’t talk about it enough.

I also asked the Dear Grace Readers “Have you or a loved one ever struggled with postpartum depression or anxiety?” and the vast majority said Yes. This community of women knows what you are going through and is here for you. Hundreds of moms wrote in! The two pieces of advice that came in over and over again are 1) You’re not alone and 2) With help, you’ll feel better.

Here are a few other responses from Dear Grace readers sharing what they wish they had known when they were in your shoes:

“I wish I had known that this is really common. Unfortunately, it’s very normal. Many, many women go through this. People don’t talk about it enough, but once you start opening up about what you’re experiencing, you’ll learn that so many women are going through what you are.”

“I wish I had known that it’s OK to seek help. Talking with a professional and sometimes medication is needed to get over the hump. Don’t suffer alone, phone a friend.”

“I wish I had known that PPD can get very intense if it goes untreated. If the depression gets too bad where you get strange feelings of hurting yourself or your child, call the Crisis Line (988) right away. Get a family member to come over to watch the baby so you can go to the doctor ASAP because now they have medicine to help with that!”

“I wish someone would have told me that my mental health is just as important as your physical health. I would’ve liked a therapist or someone I could trust to share everything with and guide me through the process of treating my PPD. The baby took so much out of me that I could barely get in the shower or seek support groups where I could be open and honest with no judgment. I wish I had found my community of other women with PPD sooner.”

“I wish that someone would have told me exactly what I just read from Dear Grace! It’s so important to recognize Postpartum depression and learn about it, talk to your doctor, and find other moms who get it.” 

Although you may still have a healing journey ahead, I hope that hearing from these other readers who’ve been where you are shows you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. We’re all wishing you the best!

Grace and the Readers