Did I become less fun when I stopped drinking?
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Dear Grace,
I did “Dry January” this year (where you don’t drink alcohol for the month) and surprised myself by actually enjoying it. I haven’t had a drink since 2022, and feel more like my “old self” and have even lost some weight. It’s been such a positive thing, but some of my friends and family have been making negative comments. People keep asking if I’m pregnant (hello, so personal) and my friends are complaining that sober-me is no fun anymore. How can I set clear boundaries about these kinds of comments so I can drink my La Croix in peace?
– Shirley Temple
Dear Shirley Temple,
We’ve lived through a lot in recent years—a global pandemic, inflation, not least of all: it’s hot outside.
Before I give you my two cents, how about a round of. . .applause? 🙂 Amidst all of these highs and lows, lots of people have found themselves relying on alcohol to cope with their stress. Cut to you, Shirley, choosing a path that makes you feel more grounded and more “you,” and I think it’s pretty wonderful.

For what it’s worth, you’re not alone — Dry January is making its way into the mainstream, with 15% of American millennials (11 million people) taking part. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy, especially when the people we look to for support don’t have your back.
So here’s a hangover-free recipe I’ve concocted to help you get past the grief your family and friends are serving up.
Speak Frankly. There are plenty of polite ways to set boundaries for how (more like IF) people should comment on your choices. The next time someone asks you where the “fun-you” has gone, tell them calmly and clearly that you don’t appreciate those comments and hope that they can be supportive, rather than critical of your decisions. Keep in mind that plenty of people have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, so these comments may be a result of your friends’ discomfort with their own consumption, just projected onto you. And remember: you already know how to do this. The boundaries we set with others are a reflection of the boundaries we set with ourselves of which you already have a lot of experience in to get to where you are.
Own It. The alternative to chasing boundaries down is simply this: owning it. I once bought one of those military-grade cell phone cases before a road trip with two of my best friends. My phone was too big to fit in my pocket with that monster case, and both my friends cracked jokes about it for days.
By the end of that trip, my phone had been dropped, dunked in a lake, and spilled on, BUT thanks to my case, it lived to tell the tale. The moral of the story: I knew what I needed, so my friends’ comments just didn’t phase me.
This isn’t an ad for phone cases but it is an ad for protecting whatever makes us feel good, safe and more like ourselves. To me, that’s what a good life is all about.
Mix up some mocktails. Give your loved ones a chance to enjoy some great N/A drinks with you by whipping up some delicious mocktails or grabbing some nonalcoholic beers from the store. In the spirit of summer, try these frozen nonalcoholic margaritas or any of these seasonal favorites. Your family and friends will love the drinks almost as much as waking up without a hangover.
Finally, dear Shirley, saying goodbye to old habits usually means saying hello to new insights about ourselves and the lives we want to live. When one door closes, you’ll find several others opened. Check out local events and restaurants with creative N/A options and you may end up finding a whole new community of people who share your choices.
Here’s hoping you can spend less time fielding questions and more time enjoying what makes you feel good.
Cheers,
Grace <3