My coworker and I both want to ask for a raise. Should we ask together?

Dear Grace,

My favorite coworker and I want to ask for raises. We work in retail and get paid hourly (no commission or tips), and even just a few more cents per hour would make a big difference. I’m great with customers, and with gas prices up, I really need it.

My coworker is also amazing. She makes the same as me, but she’s been there way longer, and she has SO much product knowledge. She could really use the extra money because her wife was in the hospital last month, and the medical bills have been big.

We both know we deserve a raise, but we’re too nervous to ask. Should we ask together? What should we do?

– Barely Scraping By in Belwood

Dear Barely Scraping By,

First, I just have to say—good for you both! I love to see women asking for what they deserve. After all of the hard work the two of you have put into the store, and the way the cost of living keeps going up, now is a great time to ask for a raise. Now, here’s my advice: go in to ask your boss separately, one at a time. But prepare together! Here’s something worth saying out loud: men ask for raises all the time, without losing a wink of sleep over it. Women deserve to do the same.

Here’s how:

Lean on each other while you prepare.

Asking for a raise isn’t pushy. It isn’t selfish. It’s smart—and it’s something you should do more than once in your career. You are both so lucky to have a coworker who can cheer you on while you ask for the first time! One of my favorite sayings is, “Closed mouths don’t get fed.” Women win at work when we all support each other and rise together. Keep reminding each other: you don’t get what you don’t ask for!

Do your homework together.

You will each need to have your own conversation with your boss to ask for a raise, but that doesn’t mean you can’t prepare together. Here are some ways you can get ready to have the talk with your boss:

• Read the employee handbook and look up how your store handles raises and promotions. 
• Make lists of all of the ways you have been great employees, and be prepared to talk about how much value you bring to the store.
• Decide how much you are going to ask for, and then practice asking out loud with each other.

Be professional, direct, and patient.

Once you and your coworker have practiced and prepared, ask your boss confidently. Know that you might not get an answer right away, your boss may need to ask a higher-up. It might take a few conversations, a few emails, and some patience to get an answer. If your manager says no, ask what it would take to get there—and write it down. A “no” from your boss might mean “not yet.” Or, it may be that you can’t get a raise in your current role, but you could be promoted (check out this advice column on how to ask for a promotion!). 

I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you both! I hope that all of the hard work you’ve put into the store pays off! In terms of struggling with the cost of living, you are not alone out here. So many women are right there with you, picking up extra hours, working overtime, and only browsing the sales items. While you’re waiting for those extra few cents an hour, be sure to check out tips from readers on how to stretch your dollar at the grocery store. You both deserve to be paid what you’re worth. We’re rooting for you!

With encouragement,

Grace