Do I have to get married or have a baby to be noticed?

Dear Grace,

Everyone around me is celebrating either getting married or getting pregnant (I’m happy for them!), but that’s not my path right now. I’ve been working for over a year on my own small business creating crochet clutches, wallets, and tote bags and it’s finally taking off! My business is my baby and it’s hard to put into words all of the time and energy I’ve devoted to it. My friends and family are supportive, but in the “that’s cool” kind of way, not the “AMAZING!” kind of way. Am I delusional for expecting more?

– Busy in Bettendorf

Dear Busy,

Since you haven’t heard it from the people around you, let me start by saying WOW! Starting your own business (especially a cute, handmade, and functional one!) is nothing short of incredible. 

Acknowledging something that makes you feel alive, taking it seriously, and then nurturing it into a business is no simple feat. So first, I can totally get both your disappointment and frustration for not receiving the same enthusiasm that I’m sure you’ve offered others at baptisms and bridal showers.

For what it’s worth, you aren’t the only one pouring your love into a business. Women in America are starting about 1,821 businesses every day! That’s over half a million businesses a year. So, you’re in really good, busy company.  

Because I’m not able to sit next to you and offer my oohs and ahhs while you’re making an undoubtedly beautiful clutch, I hope you find some comfort and support in the next best thing: some words of advice.

Shift your perspective. Adult-ing can often feel like a real life choose your own adventure novel – you’ve turned the page to the adventure most exciting to you while those around you turn to theirs. One page isn’t better than another. They’re just different. Your friends’ lack of enthusiasm doesn’t mean they don’t care, but it might signal that they don’t know how to support you OR are so wrapped up in their own adventures that they’re unaware of yours. This doesn’t mean that the way you feel isn’t legit, but it does mean that you might need to point them in the right direction.

Ask for what you need. What would make you feel supported and celebrated? Maybe it’s sharing your work on social media or sending an encouraging “you got this” text message every now and again. Once you figure out what you need, share it with your friends and family and tell them why it means so much to you. 

Look for fellow adventurers. As much as your community wants to be there for you, there’s nothing like talking to someone else who “gets it.” Find other people who are as passionate about their business-babies as you are. Join a small business owners’ group (or even better yet, a woman-owned small business group). Start by searching on your favorite social media sites and don’t be afraid to click on those rabbit hole hashtags, you never know where it might lead you. There are also local in-person options, such as chambers of commerce, business district offices, America’s Small Business Association, crafter’s get togethers and so much more. 

I hope you find the support you’re looking for, and I am certain that in time, Busy, you will. Building a business, the buzz around it, and a support system all take time and care. Sending well wishes for your current and future ventures.

<3 Grace