BONUS! How do I ask for a promotion or a raise?

Dear Grace,

My job is really stressful. I love my job and I’m working towards a promotion but when I ask for it, they keep beating around the bush. How can I handle things in a way that won’t seem like I’m selfish?

– Tense in Texas

Hello again Tense,

I responded to your note last month about working towards a promotion and I was blown away by the response from readers. 

Over 70% of readers told me that they have asked a manager for a promotion or a raise by advocating for themselves at work. That’s a lot! And let me tell you, this community has some GREAT advice on how to get ahead at work. 

Here are some of my favorite suggestions from readers:

• “I understand it can be stressful but you deserve that promotion! You earned the right to receive it. You’ve put in the time, headaches, hard work, determination, and dedication. That’s your promotion, so you take it and don’t feel like it’s selfish of you to do so! We all have the right to work toward a promotion! You go girl, you grow girl!!”
• “Ask for a list of requirements to qualify for the promotion, that way your pitch for why you should get it can include all of the requirements on the list. Also, get your resume and references together just in case you need to move on.”
• “Be prepared to report what you have done to improve the workplace, how you accomplished it, how you went above and beyond, and what value you bring. Sometimes it helps to have a friend or coworker help with that because it can be hard to brag about your own work, but you need to!“
• “I would suggest you ask your boss for a meeting. Respect your boss’s time and have bullet points ready to present. Keep a pleasant and professional tone in your voice and ask for what you want. Do not assume your boss will know what you want. You have to be direct (exactly what title do you want? How much of a raise?). Also, prepare how you will handle the rejection if your boss does not agree with you. For example, if the promotion or raise isn’t possible at the current time, are you prepared to ask your boss to revisit the situation in three months or let your boss know that you will be looking at other options?”
• “Keep bringing up your desire for a promotion and raise a semi-regular basis. Management has their own load of chaos and can easily forget. It’s possible that they have been too busy or overwhelmed to prioritize you. Be persistent! Just tactfully stay on their case! You’ve got this!”
• “If you don’t ask, you don’t get. Know your value and your worth. If it doesn’t go the way you hoped, you can find another job that will value you more. Change can be scary but good!”

Women make up nearly half of the American workforce while balancing all of the other responsibilities in their lives—whether that’s marriage, parenting, or caretaking a family member. Unfortunately, women still aren’t quite paid at the same rate as men. On average, women make 84 cents for every dollar a man makes. I think we can all agree that hard work should be rewarded, regardless of the gender of the person doing it. 

You are clearly a hard-working woman, Tense, and I hope this is the nudge you need to keep advocating for yourself! Asking for more can be scary, but I think the 70% of readers who successfully asked for raises will tell you. . .it’s worth it!

Sending you Strength,

Grace and the Readers