My boss’s nephew is getting high on the job. Do I speak up?

Dear Grace,

I’ve got a dilemma. My co-worker uses marijuana when making deliveries. They get other people to help with the deliveries so they can stop at dispensaries and smoke. It’s a family business in a small town, but this coworker is related to the owner and the manager. This could cause the whole company to fold if something happens on the road. Do I say something and risk getting in trouble or just put up and shut up?

– I Don’t Inhale in Illinois

Dear I Don’t Inhale,

First thing’s first, the way you signed your question made me laugh so hard my Diet Coke came out of my nose. Thanks for sharing your sense of humor and a very interesting dilemma. 

Your situation has me thinking about how stressful it can be to raise concerns at work, even under normal circumstances (which yours are not). No one wants to be labeled the “squeaky wheel,” but we can all acknowledge that some things are worth squeaking about. 

The family dynamics you mentioned are really the cherry on top of this dilemma, and make it hard to know how your boss will react to your concerns. Would they protect your coworker at all costs? Would they treat him or her more delicately than any other employee? Would they blame you for waving the red flag? We all tend to treat situations differently when there’s family involved, and I’d hate for you to get caught in the crosshairs. 

A delicate situation requires delicate advice, and here’s mine:

Be a tattle tale. I don’t mean that you have to run into your boss’ office and point fingers, but you’re right that this coworker’s behavior is a danger to themselves and others (driving while high is a big no-no) and could put your whole company at risk. From where I sit, the dirty looks that you might get around the office are worth knowing that your coworker is being safe on the road. 

Speak their language. When you share your concerns with the people in charge, make sure you put them in terms that your manager (or the owner) can appreciate. Rather than complaining about the coworker, tell them that you’re concerned for their safety and the consequences for the company if there was ever an accident on the job. If you make the coworker into the “bad guy,” your boss may get defensive, like many of us do when someone challenges someone we love. 

By framing the conversation in terms of risk to their staff and company, you’re setting them up to recognize that this is a real issue and take action to fix it. 

Consider anonymity. Given the sensitive situation and small town environment, I can definitely understand being worried about backlash for stirring the pot. If you’re nervous about this impacting your job (or ability to get a job somewhere else), share your concern via anonymous note. If your office is too small to truly be anonymous, consider writing a Google review from the perspective of a client or passerby who saw a stoned coworker doing deliveries. 

Your situation is a reminder that doing the right thing is not always popular or easy. I admire how much care you’ve put into your decision and hope my advice helps. Take a deep inhale (pun intended), you’ve got this. 

<3 Grace