My husband’s constant accidents have drained our emergency fund. Is it just bad luck or is something up?

Dear Grace,

My husband seems to have more “emergencies” than most. Every day I’m sending him money for something and it’s depleting our resources. He’s on the same page with me—he doesn’t want to cost us money, but there is always something. Example: In the past 3-4 months, we’ve purchased him 6 tires. SIX! The first four were because it was time to get new tires. But then one of them had damage to the side wall and another one had a piece of metal in it. Meanwhile, I need two tires because the treads are getting low but I can’t afford them right now. He has emergencies that no other person seems to. Yes, he’s being honest with me about these emergencies. We used to have an emergency fund but that’s long been exhausted. Do some people just naturally attract “emergencies” into their lives? I don’t think I can keep going like this. Something has to change but typically emergencies are out of people’s control.

– Skeptical in Savannah

Dear Skeptical,

I can hear your frustration, and I really admire that you’re trying to understand what’s going on, rather than just playing the Blame Game.

Still, I know it’s tough trying to find money for basic expenses and feeling like it’s disappearing before your eyes, and before you can fix other issues on your mind—like driving on bald tires. You’re right, Skeptical, something has to change. Here are some suggestions to help you both see more money coming in than out.

First, make sure there are no new underlying issues.

You asked me if some people just naturally attract emergencies. My answer is, “Maybe. . .” If most of his emergencies have been tire-related, then either he’s moonlighting as one of the Fast and Furious (sounds unlikely) or it’s just a random string of bad luck. It happens. But If there have been other “random” emergencies that suggest your husband has been uncharacteristically forgetful or reckless, or even having trouble seeing, it may be worth a visit to his doctor to make sure everything is okay. Better safe than sorry.

Work together on a budget.

You’re not alone in watching your emergency funds vanish. Sadly, over half of Americans say that they struggle each month to put any money away. Based on your question, it sounds like you and your husband have some separate accounts.  It might be time for some transparency about the big picture. Pick a time to sit down together so that you can review your spending over the last few months. Since you signed “Skeptical” I want to encourage you (as your friend) to make sure you know exactly where all of your money is going—including what you’ve needed to send him for emergencies. The two of you clearly have a great foundation of trust, but keeping track of everything going out the door is a good practice anyway. Tally it all up and figure out how you could budget differently in order to eke out a bit more savings for your rainy-day fund (since it’s been steadily pouring).

If you don’t already have one, now is the time to open a high-yield savings account so that you can earn maximum interest on any money you are able to save—even if it’s just $40 or $50 a month. Ideally, set it up to automatically transfer from your checking to the savings account after every paycheck so you don’t even have to think about it.

Don’t leave any money on the table, as they say.

In this age of automatic billing and recurring subscriptions, it’s easy for money to fly out the window without us even knowing it. You can use this website to find the subscriptions you don’t need to keep money from going out the door. Last year the Federal Trade Commission made a “click to cancel” rule for subscriptions, so it’s never been easier to unsubscribe with just one step! There are loads of ways to bring down monthly costs by negotiating bills (it’s worth the time!) and signing up for savings programs. You know as well as I do that every little bit counts and you may be surprised how much you can save once you take a hard look at your accounts and make some different choices.

You can also check out usa.gov/benefit-finder to see if there are any government programs you might be eligible for, to cover utilities or other bills. We pay into these programs with our taxes, and this is what they’re there for. 

Your concern is understandable; no one should have to feel like they’re driving an unsafe vehicle because they can’t afford a repair, or wonder where the money is going to come from should something else go wrong. It sounds like you and your husband have a relationship built on trust and support, which is a great foundation for a stable financial future together. I’m hoping your season of “accidents” is over, but maybe avoid walking under ladders or tempting fate for the time being! 

With love,

Grace