This isn’t fair. My grandpa is a war hero and still struggling.

Dear Grace,

My grandfather was a medic in Vietnam and saved thousands of lives, yet today, he struggles to get rides to appointments, medication, and other health support. Me and my mom do what we can to help, but I work full-time to put myself through college, and my mom works two jobs and takes care of my younger sister. We can’t be all the places we need to be to get him the help he needs and deserves. I hate to see him struggling – but it just shouldn’t be this hard. Help!

– Overwhelmed in Ohio

Dear Overwhelmed, 

Just reading your message has me picturing my own Pop and the WWII veteran cap that he wore everywhere (even to church). I can totally get how stressful and frustrating it is to see your grandfather struggle, especially after all he has given to this country. Of course you feel overwhelmed! This responsibility shouldn’t fall all on your shoulders, yet here you are, carrying it along with everything else. Unfortunately, lots of people are feeling stretched thin trying to support their aging loved ones, it seems like there just aren’t enough hours in the day to work a job that supports your family, be there for them when they need you, and take care of life’s other necessities like grocery shopping, making meals–you know, survival. 

I’ve got two tips for you to help make life a little easier for you both.

First, because he is a veteran, he is likely entitled to insurance benefits and support from the Federal government – Veterans Affairs. If you’re not sure where to start, try any of these three resources that are available to help your family (set aside about 30 minutes or so for the phone calls): 

1. Find out what he is eligible for on the VA’s website
2. Call the VA’s hotline 800-827-1000.
3. Call his state representative. Their office will have folks who work in constituent services (seriously – do this – they work for you) and can help you get answers. Look up their contact info here. 

Second, play to your strengths. Growing up in the age of the internet pays off when it comes to streamlining the tangle of calls and appointments you’re dealing with. Does  your grandfather’s doctor offer a patient portal? You can set up his profile in less than 15 minutes, and there is usually even a tech support line to call for help if you get stuck. That way, you can help him manage appointments, get test results, communicate with medical staff, keep track of bills, and get updated prescriptions while saving yourself time and a game of phone-tag. Some pharmacy chains also allow you to enroll for prescription text updates and medication deliveries. I use Rite Aid, I love getting notifications when my prescription is ready. They even deliver my meds to my doorstep, saving me time, gas money, and the temptation to buy stuff I don’t need.

Being your family’s rock is not easy, but I know they appreciate it more than they might let on. I hope this helps your grandfather get the care he needs and helps you find more time in your day to take a breath.  Wishing you both well, 

<3 Grace