I’m especially lonely this time of year. How do I get through this winter?

Dear Grace,

Hi Grace,

Thank you for your texts and videos. I’ve never written in before, but I am feeling very blue. My daughter just moved for her husband’s work, and now I won’t be seeing my grandbaby as much. Plus, my favorite neighbor moved into assisted living in the next town. The winter is always hard, but now this hard time of year just got harder. I’m not sure how to shake this feeling of sadness and being lonely. What should I do?

– Isolated Grammy in Illinois

Dear Isolated Grammy,

Oh, friend. That sounds so hard. In a short time, your daughter and grandbaby moved away, and so did your favorite neighbor. Now the days are getting shorter and colder too. No wonder you feel blue! So many Americans feel isolated and lonely, especially as they get older…The U.S. Surgeon General even called it a “loneliness epidemic.” Fortunately, loneliness is curable with a little connection.

Here’s my advice:

Find one moment of connection each day.

When we feel lonely, it’s easy to stay home and pull away. But small moments with other people add up. Set a simple goal: one moment of connection every day. Chat with the cashier at the grocery store. Call an old friend. Wave to a neighbor and ask how they’re doing. Sit next to someone new at the library. These moments may feel small, but they remind us that we belong.

Build your community close to home.

Your daughter, your grandbaby, and your neighbor are still part of your life. You also deserve relationships with people nearby. Try your local senior center, a book club, a walking group, or a craft class. Volunteering is a great way to find purpose, too. Libraries, schools, and food pantries often need helpers, and a Grammy’s heart has a lot of love to give! In Illinois, you can call the Illinois Senior HelpLine to learn about programs and activities in your area.

Get support if the sadness doesn’t lift.

I can’t give medical advice, but I do know that sadness that hangs on is worth taking seriously. If you still feel down after a couple of weeks, or daily tasks start to feel harder, talk to a doctor or therapist. Tell them about your winter blues to see if you’re dealing with seasonal depression. In Illinois, you can text TALK to 552020 for free to connect with a mental health professional near you. Or if you ever feel like you’re in crisis, call or text 988 at any time.

Please take these feelings seriously, Isolated Grammy. They are real, and they affect your health. You deserve connection, community, and joy in every season. Reaching out to me was a brave first step. Now take the next one. Push yourself to talk to people in your town or on your block. Sign up for a class or a group at your local library. Your people are out there, and they would be lucky to know you.

Love,

Grace