I’m barely scraping by each month. Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

Dear Grace,

It’s been one month since my hip replacement. I’m 72 and live alone with my cat. I don’t have kids of my own but I consider myself a cat mom. I’m so tired of struggling to take care of household tasks—cleaning up, making meals, cleaning the litter box, even getting in the car is hard (at least I can drive now). I get SNAP benefits to help out but money is so tight, it feels impossible to get any help. By the time I pay my bills, buy groceries, and pay for gas, I’m scraping the bottom. I have credit cards to use in a pinch, but I don’t want to get into debt. It was supposed to be better than this, Grace. All my family have passed on or live far away, so I’m left to spend the time with my cat, the TV, and my library books. It wasn’t supposed to be this way, is there any light at the end of this tunnel?

– In The Dark, Illinois

Dear In The Dark,

I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling, especially during a time in your life when you should be able to enjoy the fruits of your labors for the past several decades. Unfortunately, your situation isn’t unique—lots of Americans of all ages and walks of life are finding themselves feeling isolated and wondering how they will manage to retire on time (or at all). 

There’s no two ways about it: getting to the end of each month and seeing $0 left in your bank account is the worst. You deserve to rest in comfort and enjoy these golden years with your cat (who adores you, I’m sure) and community. I do have some good news though, In the Dark, which is that I do believe there is light at the end of the tunnel. Here’s my advice for how to reach it as quickly as possible:

Break down the challenges you’re facing. Between feeling financially stressed, healing from a major surgery, and dealing with loneliness, it’s easy to be overwhelmed by that feeling that nothing is going right. One thing I’ve learned about problem solving, though, is that you have to break things down into manageable bites in order to make any real headway. The way I read your question, I heard that you are seeking more connection, ease, and abundance in your daily life. By reframing your question from “is it going to get better?” to “here is what I’m looking for,” it might be easier to pinpoint possible solutions. 

Now that we know what you’re looking to solve for, here are some brainstormed solutions to get your wheels turning. At the end of the day, you know yourself best, and my suggestions are just a starting point. 

Consider a move. Whether it’s relocating to an apartment in a walkable area in your locality, joining a retirement community, or moving closer to the family that lives far away, you might find that a change of location brings you more social connection and ease every day. I know you mentioned that you’re currently able to drive, but if getting in and out of the car is a hassle, you may be happier in an area that requires less driving (not to mention your savings on gas). Plenty of people deal with decreasing mobility as they get older, and I’m always on the side of preparing for that transition earlier rather than later.

Keep in mind that if you want to move closer to your family, it’s a good idea to call them and talk it through. Let them know what you’ve been struggling with recently and why you think being close by will be a good thing. Life has taught me that, more often than not, the people in our lives are ready and able to step up for us when we need it, but they can only do that when we clue them in to what we need. 

Wherever you might move, check out the organizations and programs around you that can help with moving costs. I’m always a fan of reaching out to my neighborhood Facebook group to see if anyone is willing to lend a hand (or a truck) or has any extra cardboard boxes to spare. Like I said, you might be surprised by how people step up for you when you need it. 

Refresh your schedule. Getting stuck at home is a non-starter and while I know it seems like a rut you can’t climb out of, I promise that there are ways to get out and about. My advice, In the Dark, is to plan your weekly schedule around firm commitments that you know you can manage. I’m a big fan of committing to a weekly exercise class (social and good for you!) that works for you, like water aerobics, yoga, or a walking group. Similarly, signing up to volunteer at your local library each week (you’re going to be there anyway!) or even SPCA is a good way to fill your time with something fun and purposeful, and give your cat a chance to miss you at home! 

Take advantage of retirement programs. I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again: no one should be struggling to make ends meet in their retirement. Thanks to the COVID pandemic, lots of Americans found themselves retiring early or unexpectedly, putting them in tight financial situations. You mentioned that you’re already enrolled in SNAP, but there are other programs that can help you cut down on monthly expenses (including healthcare costs!) so that things don’t feel quite so tight. Use the national benefits locator to see all the programs you are eligible for and take full advantage–they exist for this very purpose! 

Beyond these chances for savings, it’s a good idea to keep up with the plans to support retirees in your state and nationwide. While your personal finances may seem far from politics in Washington, laws like the American Rescue Plan actually play a big role in making sure retirees get a fair shake by doing things like protecting pensions from cuts and securing retirement for millions of union workers.  

I hear you saying that things feel dark right now, but I really believe that there is a bright light waiting for you. I’m sending you all my love and best wishes for a healthy retirement filled with joy. 

Sincerely, 

Grace